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| Thoughts |
| The positive thinker creates a majority. |
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| Jokes > General Jokes |
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- A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
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- A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong.
He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot. The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower.
"Help! Help!"
The tower came back and asked, "What's the problem?"
The blind guy yelled, "Help me! I'm blind... the pilot is dead, and we're flying upside down!"
The tower comes back and asked, "How do you know you're upside down?"
"Because the shit is running down my back!"
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- Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone.You can speak to me. Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someoneand you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wanthat our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is beingsent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look, if no onewas injured and no onewas sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..
Caller: Oh ......God!!! !
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- George receives a phone call.
"Hello," he answers.
The voice on the other end says, "This is Jessica. We met at a party about 3 months ago."
George, "hmmm... Jessica? You say we met 3 months ago?"
Jessica, "Yes, it was at Adam's house. After the party gave me a ride home On the way home, we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport."
George, "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are have you been?"
Jessica, "Well, I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
George, "Say, you really ARE a good sport!"
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